Friday 5 August 2016

amazing story

                     W.A.L.T:write about a time that I hid.


                              


After dinner me,my cousins & their friends played hide and seek I wanted to hide with someone so I hid with josh in the hay shed,we climbed over the hay and into a small gap in the hay our legs were really stiff,we ducked down so the not even a little bit of us was showing.1.2.3 ready or not here I come ok it is time to be quiet as a mouse josh was sitting next to me and we were very cold and we were taking way too many breaths at a time. They came into the hay shed and they said “found you josh I knew we would find you” but they did not see me luckily. I had been hiding on my own for 1 hour I think and then finally I hear the words “ok we all give up so you can come out now” so I did but when I got out and I was going to say I am the winner but all I saw was the dark mist in the cold night so I creeped out into the bitter cold night and run up to the house and saw they all just on the couch watching tv. I said to them all“why did you guys leave me still hiding”, “we had given up looking for you and so we came in here” they said I said again “why didn't josh just tell you where I am” but they said nothing.I went to bed that night very cold and stiff suddenly a plan came into my mind to take revenge on them.

8 comments:

  1. Rhea, I really love your 'cliffhanger' finish. I you going to write another chapter to this? Please tell me when you've posted it. In the next chapter, can you please introduce who 'they' are? I'd like to know more about your friends in this story. mrsinton-white.blogspot.co.nz

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  2. Rhea, I really love your 'cliffhanger' finish. I you going to write another chapter to this? Please tell me when you've posted it. In the next chapter, can you please introduce who 'they' are? I'd like to know more about your friends in this story. mrsinton-white.blogspot.co.nz

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  3. Lol cool post.
    Loving those pics of the cat and pig lol

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  4. Hi Rhea my name is Sylvia from Waikowhai Primary School, I really like your writing about your time with your friends and cousins it is a really cool time that you had. If you want to visit my blog go to http://wpssylviah.blogspot.co.nz/.

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    Replies
    1. hi thank you for this helpful comment I will do that next time

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  5. Talofa my name is Conroy at Waikowhai Primary School and what I really liked about your blog was your screencastify video on complex sentences. You wrote lots of great writting. I think you need to work on making sure your writing makes sense. If you want to visit my blog the address is called http://wpsconroyc.blogspot.co.nz/.

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    Replies
    1. Hi my name is Rhea at Paroa school and thank you for a helpful and positive comment on my blog and you have a lot of cool things on your blog too I really like your tour video because it happened when you first got your blog and how old you are and how much you like school.

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  6. Hi Rhea I love your Writing it is great!
    Next time you could tell the reader
    more about what you did.
    It is also really interesting.
    Thanks Eva

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Rhea